my ever changing life

2006-01-30T12:05:00.000-06:00

You will not believe what happened yesterday. My wonderful Boyfriend and I left the house to go about our daily doings and we both forgot our keys. Can you believe that!!!!
On a different note, I sold my first items on eBay last week!!! My next venture is to check out the fleamarkets in my area. I just cant stop thinking about the house and the life I want.

2006-01-12T09:00:00.000-06:00

My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year and a half and we still don't fight. We have nothing to fight about. We get along great. Last Thursday we had a fight that went on through Friday. Why did we fight? We faught because my life isn't interesting to me anymore. The problem is this... Two summers ago I thought I had my life all set. The weather was warm, the sun was always out, I worked my part-time job, made candles for my company, cut grass, farmed my fathers land, worked out on a daily basis, and had time and money for myself. Right now I have none of that. Right now I live with my boyfriend in a small house with a small yard and everything I do is for him or for us. I took on a much better job while still working the first one, I clean up around his house, do the laundry at a laundrymat, and have a problem taking my 3 mile jog in his neighborhood. All my money goes to my bills or to help lighten his heavy load. I know that life with him will not be like this forever, but I miss what I once had. I also know that he is doing everything he can and working hard to help get us out of our now situation, but it seems to take forever just to make a small- but noticible- dent. I hate knowing what I want and not being able to have it right away. Sorry if that classifies me as spoiled, but damnit I work hard and so does he and we both deserve a bit more.

2005-11-17T08:11:00.000-06:00

I now work two jobs. I must have angels looking down on me. I can pay off all my bills and still get gifts for my family. The only draw back is not enough time to spend with the people I care about. Lately I've been working 10hour shifts at one jobe and 8hour shifts at the other, thats 90hours a week!!!!!!!!! Do I really have to work this much to earn a typical paycheck???

2005-11-01T06:26:00.000-06:00

I've finally accomplished one of my many goals. I paid off and canclled all of my store credit cards. Now I have just one acctual credit card to get rid of. What makes me even more happy is the fact that I can now help my boyfriend out with his living situation. I told him that I could only do a small amount till the last bill was paid off. He seems to be happy that I can help more. I just want 5 acres and a decent sized house for a family. Is that asking too much these days?

2005-10-20T19:37:00.000-05:00

Last night my boyfriends neighbor called to let us know that there has been a strange man walking our street for the past month. According to her and about two other neighbors, he comes every Saturday night around eight pm and picks a door to knock on. When the owner of the house answers the door he then asks for some gas money, saying his car broke down not to far from the street and he just needed a few dollars to get home. According to the neighbor that called my boyfriend- he looks like he is a bum that couldn't even afford a car. She also began to tell my boyfriend about the first time he approched a house on his street. The neighbor this bum approched felt so bad for him that he took this guy to the local bar and baught him a drink. The kicker is this... when the neighbor got up to use the restroom, the bum stole as much money from the top of the bar as he could and left. I would never answer the door if I didn't know the person, let alone take them out for a drink!!! I had to ask my boyfriend who his neighbors are and tell him I'm glad to not know them. Question two was "Why are we just finding out about this now, a month later?" Third question was "Why haven't the police been notified yet?" I realy feel safe now!!

2005-08-09T07:13:00.000-05:00

I finally had to do it. I had to buy gas at $2.55. I just don't get it. Soon I wont be able to afford gas. That or I just wont be able to eat. What is our president doing to us??? What are we doing to ourselves??? A healthy piece of meat is almost $10.00, a bag of baby carrots is $2.00, and gas is rising to $3.00 a gallon. No wonder why Americans are fat, depressed, uneducated, and not motivated to get out of the rut they are in. Why is healthcare so damb expensive? I really don't care why these things are ore how they came about, I just was them fixed!!!!!!!!!!!

2005-07-28T21:03:00.000-05:00

Today I bumped into an old co-worker while I was at work. She is now married, with a child, and living a "very busy life". I didn't have much to come back with. I do alot with my days, my time. I try to be a great girlfriend, run a candle company, work a part-time job, and keep up with family. Why would I tell her I wasn't doing much. I did mention all these things in my life. I made it out like all those things were nothing, WHY????

2005-07-11T06:29:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I decided to go back to school. I origionally left college because I really didn't know what or where I wanted to be. I just didn't see logic in spendidng all that money for nothing. Most of the people I know that do have sone kind of degree have it for something very unrelated to what they are doing now. The asst. manager at my work is an asst. just because she has a degree. I guess that is retail for you. I still have no clue what I want to go to school for. I know I need to go back. I went for business management. Definatley not what I want now, especiallt if they just take anybody. My boyfriend suggested getting into nursing, at least till I can make enough money to keep me on my feet. I DON"T THINK SO!!!!!!! Working with blood, human waste, blood, and did I mention blood. NO WAY. A few weeks ago I was driving to work and came up to a motorcycle accident. It must have just happened, the police hadn't arrived yet. It involved 3 cars, 1 motorcycle, and about 5 adults. It looked like 4 of the 5 had died on impact. Once I got to work I pucked. I cried and had to be talked down by a co-worker. I am still tramatized. So nursing is out.

2005-07-08T07:51:00.000-05:00

What happened???? I just now figured out what I did wrong. To start, I had an unrealistic thought of what I wanted my life to be. I should have never fallen for a farytail, no matter how good and solid it seemed. Secondly, family and friends. I have been allowing everyone in my life tell me what is best for me, never really doing things on my own for my self. I went to college for my parents and peers, I took several jobs for my family. I dressed and acted for them. I believe this is why I am 27 and still in a rutt.
I have had a few boyfriends in my short life, but the guy I am with now has so far been the best thing for me. I guess you can say I live with him. We have been serious for about 10 months. Being with him has forced me to "grow up". I no longer have to explain where I'm going or for how long. I am free to come and go as I please. My parents liked having my work scedual up on the fridge, just in case I forgot I had to work or something (like I was forgetfull or unstable). Now they don't have a clue when I work. When I have time I visit them (that sounded wierd) and they know to call if they ever needed something. I now feel alive. I make my own decisions and do things that I want to do. I feel lole my boyfriend has given me the tools to be able to see the big picture, how life today has changed from yesterday and what I now know I need to do for my happiness. What I dislike about this whole thing-- Why did it have to happen now, why not sooner???? All I can think of is that it just wasn't time for me to know until now.

Up to date

2005-07-07T09:09:00.000-05:00

I can remember being about six years old, sitting on my parents porch one warm afternoon in August, thinking about my future. Where would I be? What would I be doing? Who would I be with at age 25? I am now 27 and boy did I get it wrong!!!!!!!!!!!
At age six life was simple. My father worked his 10 hour day while my mother tended to the house and keeped the kids in line. My parents married young and grew together, learning how to get along and compliment each others weaknesses. For a long time I thought that was what life was, and for most of my life it was.
At age six I had such big dreams for age 25. I was going to have a career, be a "business woman" with a briefcase and all. I would have married a very wonderful, charming, kind, loving, attractive man that was four inches taller than me with perfect teeth and brown hair. I would have had at least one child by now, working on the second (making sure to have all my children by age 30). I would be living in a beautiful 2-story house that my husband and I fixed up in a small town close to both our families. We were working to sell the house and buy a bigger, better house in a more prestigious area once our children made it to junior high school.
I am 27 now. I went to college for about two years, but didn't earn enough credits for a degree. I work part-time in a store getting full-time hours. I am in my first "real" relationship with a guy. I say "real" because he isn't just some guy I'm seeing. He is my girlfriend and I stay at his house on a regular basis and he is the first guy that doesn't act like a kid. I do not have any children, nor do I plan to in the near future.
All I can do now is look back and ask why?, how?, and what happened?.......

My first moment

2005-07-05T20:09:00.000-05:00

I just started this crazy thing because my sister made it out to be cool.... hope it works!